Hey, Another Crazy Ass Dream

I swear to God that my subconscious is out to get me.

So let's get on to yet another dream:

It's my birthday and I'm at my grandmother's house. Squirt decides that she wants Panera, and I also thought that Panera sounded pretty damn good at the moment, so the two of us, my grandmother, aunt, uncle, and mother start packing up this big ass van to go to Panera, since apparently the Panera in Independence moved to the middle of the goddamn woods next to a goddamn abandoned highway so we needed to drive out and then hike the rest of the way to fucking Panera.

We were about to leave when, surprise surprise, you'll never guess who showed up.

Somehow the bastard heard about us going to Panera and elected to come along because it was "too dangerous", so we let him tag along.

So we're driving out to Panera when all of a sudden, the van breaks down. My aunt and uncle elect to go back to the gas station we passed a few miles back and get help, while my mother, Squirt and my grandmother elect to go forward and see how far we are from help.

So Riko and I were left alone, both said "fuck it", and wandered into the woods to try to find the goddamn Panera.

So we're walking through the woods when we hear something following us. Riko tells me to go on ahead, pulls this samurai sword out of fucking nowhere and runs toward whatever was following us. I continue ahead and run into J's younger brother and a bunch of his friends. They throw shit at me until I walk backward off a cliff and into a swamp of Fruity Pebbles.

Yup. You read that right. A swamp of Fruity Pebbles. In the woods.

While floating in the Fruity Pebbles, Riko's sister and two others (I couldn't see their faces), who pick me up and put me on a wood raft and give me a blue bed post to row with. So I row through the swamp and get back to shore where I'm met by three paths. Nikki, dressed as a sexy fox, appears and tells me to take the path on the right. Stephan, dressed in a ridiculous bear costume, tells me to take the path on the left. Then they both start yelling at each other about telling me what to do, so I said "fuck this" and took the center path. About halfway down the path, I slipped and started rolling down a hill.

Guess what was at the bottom?

My grandmother's backyard.

And guess what was a few yards away from my grandmother's backyard?

THE FUCKING PANERA.

So I get up, dust myself off, and start walking towards it, where my family and Riko is. They see me, and Riko runs up to me and surprise surprise, we start making out. The he proceeds to tell me:

"Man, if my girlfriend ever did what you just did, I would've died."

Whoa. Hold up. Girlfriend?! You just appear at my grandmother's wanting to accompany us on a hike to Panera because you thought it was "too dangerous", protect me when we were being followed in the woods, then proceed to make out with me once I find you....and you have a girlfriend.

So I did the first thing I could do: I started crying.

By the time I get all this out, he realizes what he says and tries to run away.

I catch up to him, grab his arm and yell that I just want him to be honest with me. He turns around....

...and what do you know, my alarm went off.


I still have no idea why I dream like this, and it really pisses me off that it keeps involving people that are no longer majorly involved in my life.

Ugh. Just make them stop.