5 Memories

You win again, insomnia.

I was perusing through my writing prompt book and found one that said "write down the first 5 memories that pop in your head."

Bwahaha.

1. In elementary school we would have this big magazine drive every year (like most elementary schools). The magazine drive would always end with a "pig race", where every class got a pig that walked and oinked and picked a name for it and dressed it up, and then one representative from each class got to handle the pig in the race. I sold the most magazines in my class when I was in seventh grade and got to "handle" our neon green pig named Stevie Bartholomew. We lost 'cause I'm bad luck.

2. One time Riko and I were heading to the movie theater. We were blasting "Motherlover" by The Lonely Island with the windows down (his car didn't have air conditioning) and singing along. We were at a stop light when a little old lady pulled her car up next to us, realized what the lyrics were ("I'M A MOTHERLOVER, YOU'RE A MOTHERLOVER, WE SHOULD FUCK EACH OTHER'S MOTHERS, FUCK EACH OTHER'S MOOOOMS"), and gave me really appalled look. It was quite hilarious.

3. One year during Independence's home days, Squirt, the Cincinnati children (aka our other cousins) and I went swimming at our aunt's house. Squirt started referring to herself as the "Aquatic Squirt" (and continues to do so whenever we go swimming), which evolved to the "Tree Squirt" since she would always climb the tree outside of my high school.

4. One time, I was jumping rope at recess in fifth grade and I pissed myself. My whole class knew about it and snickered when I came back to the classroom after changing my clothes. It was really bad.

5. Saturday at my cousins' joint graduation and engagement party, I had my first can of beer. It tasted like the numbing shit they would spray down my throat so I wouldn't gag at the dentist.