So for my 100th post I was really hoping to do something fun. I had my mind set on a making a fun video or Q&A, and then my friends suggested picking my 100 favorite pictures from the last 20 years or listing 100 things I'm thankful for, but my weird work schedule kept getting in the way.
So then I thought "well fuck I'm not gonna think of anything, and there's a lot I've been meaning to post about but I don't wanna waste my 100th post" SO I DECIDED TO COMPROMISE.
This here is called Writer's Block 2. It's not gonna be a run-on paragraph like last time, but to celebrate 100 posts on this piece of shit, I decided to split it into 100 random thoughts. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your trip through my random thought process.
1) One time I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with Roni and her (now) husband, and the waiter asked if they wanted queso with their order and I practically screamed "THAT MEANS 'CHEESE'" in excitement and the people around us looked at our table and it was really fucking funny.
2) On Valentine's Day (I'm pretty sure it was Valentine's Day), Squirt and I were at Beba's house and we were chilling in the living room watching TV and Beba suddenly appears from the other room with her tablet and Squirt immediately shouted that she was NOT playing Candy Crush Saga but caved in and did it anyway.
3) When Squirt introduced the family to her boyfriend, he asked me why I was so mean. Squirt and our other cousins defended me by saying that I was nice, but in a mean way (which is true), and he looked like he was about to counter with something smart, but then he got that look in his eyes like his brain shut down and said "that makes perfect sense" before launching into a rousing discussion about Kingdom Hearts with me.
4) One time at work, a lady came up to my register and she was on the phone with her friend talking about getting a procedure in which fat from your stomach would be transplanted into your ass. If anyone's interested, according to ass-surgery lady, it should cost you a little over $4K.
5) About two Sundays ago at work, a dude was caught stealing candy, an old lady passed out in front of the exit, and someone threw out a lit blunt in the trash can right outside the store. All this happened in the span of a couple hours.
6) I keep mentioning having a few things with guys, so might as well go into detail. A few months ago I was thisclose to going out with a guy, but then he ended things before they even began by telling me that I was "too nerdy" for him. Then I talked to and Skyped with another dude that told me that I wasn't a true Marvel fan because I absolutely love the movies. Then there was the dude in my math class that seemed pretty cool at first, but then started to get obsessive and even followed me to the girls' bathroom after class. He was caught by another professor and hasn't made another attempt to contact me since.
7) Every time I see my dad, he asks me if I'm "secretly dating" someone. Last time he asked, I told him I was going out with a guy named Netflix and that we spend time together watching TV shows. He hasn't asked me that question again.
8) A few weeks ago, this guy came into work and asked to have 22 keys made. To this day the security guard and I are speculating as to what the dude's gonna do with the 22 keys.
9) One time the speakers in the store weren't working toward the front of the store, so the security guard put on his police scanner app. We heard the Shaker Heights police discover a meth lab.
10) Nikki smacked my ass 20 times on my birthday and I almost started panicking in front of all my friends but I held it all in like a boss.
11) Some of my friends wanted me to elaborate on seeing Riko on St. Patty's Day. We were downtown, he was downtown. He wanted to meet up with J. Lynch, Dan and I just had to roll with it. He wanted to show J. Lynch his dorm (which was pretty nice even though it smelled horrendous), J. Lynch was our ride home, so again Dan and I just rolled with it. It wasn't too awkward, we all behaved like adults, we hugged twice and I didn't have a psychotic meltdown and it was actually really pleasant, THE END.
12) Squirt and I came to the conclusion that we get in trouble for everything. Even when we're actually not doing anything, we get bitched at. If we're sitting on the floor and talking, we get bitched at. If we talk to each other at the dinner table, we get bitched at. If we laugh at something, we get bitched at. Like I understand if we start wrestling on the floor (even at ages 20 and 16 we still find entertainment in that), but if we're just sitting and talking? Our moms just really like bitching at us, I guess.
13) My friend Caity and I have nicknames for each other, and we have absolutely no shame about yelling "SPARKLES" and "BABY CAKES" across the store. Customers might look at us weird, our managers definitely look at us weird, but we give absolutely no fucks.
14) A lot of people I know come into my work. A lot of them recognize me and say hi. Others purposely act like I'm not there.
15) Last year at Colossalcon, my friends and I were waiting to get into one of the 18+ panels, when some random black dude starts walking up and down the line with a sign that says "BLACK GUY FOR RENT". Now my friend Barrett is black, but his skin tone was way lighter than this dude's. The dude makes it to our group and asks if we would like the addition of a black guy to our party. I go "sorry, we already have a black guy." The dude then looks to Bear Bear, proclaims that he "wasn't black enough", and the rest of us start dying (Bear Bear screaming "I KNEW HE WAS GONNA SAY THAT" between laughs). We were all in tears by the time the line started moving.
16) I don't remember if I've ever talked about The Cottage on here, but I'm gonna tell you about The Cottage. My friend Cindy's husband's family owns a small cottage in Mansfield, and every year she takes her two daughters, me, Squirt, and our other friend up there for a few days. There's no TV and no wifi, but just us girls. We talk about life, play games, swim in the lake, go on a boat ride if Jeff can make it for a day, read and relax. It's the thing I look forward to the most every year, even though I get devoured by mosquitoes every fucking time.
17) J. Lynch and I can't beat Xigbar on KH2 on beginner mode and it's a very sad thing.
18) One time Beba let me get away with saying "fuck".
19) When I was over my aunt's on July 4th one year, my older cousin was gonna let me have a very small shot of bubblegum vodka, but then my mom came into the house and he gave it to her instead.
20) My friends are coming up with a list of shit they want to see me do while I'm drunk, and so far it includes watching Marvel movies, playing Zelda, and watching Supernatural.
21) IF YOU WANT TO WATCH A TV SHOW THAT MAKES YOU MISERABLE SUPERNATURAL IS THE SHOW FOR YOU AND TUMBLR IS THE PLACE TO GO TO MAKE IT WORSE.
22) My feelings are all over the place lately and I try not to talk about them anymore 'cause the only person that needs to worry about my feelings is me and I really don't think anyone else would get it soooo....
23) I started watching Orange is the New Black and I'm probably gonna keep watching it for the rest of the night.
24) I really want to meet new people but I'm scared to leave my house and now I have trust issues after the math stalker so that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon.
25) Yup, still think that 90% of the people I was friends with in high school still hate me. And I'm eternally grateful that the other 10% still talk to me on a regular basis. Really shows you how people change.
26) There are nights that I desperately want a boyfriend and there are nights that I just binge on junk food and Netflix with absolutely no shame.
27) Ugh.
28) KP and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Art on Tuesday and it was really fun and I kinda want to go there on a date if I get a boyfriend.
29) RONI CAME INTO TOWN LAST WEEKEND AND WE STAYED AT A HOTEL AND WENT SWIMMING AND WENT DOWNTOWN AND TO THE ZOO AND IT WAS AMAZING AND I MISS HER SO MUCH.
30) Hi. How are ya.
31) My coworkers are awesome. Except the cranky old ladies that work the morning shift.
32) The living room is hot but if I turn the fan on it'll drown out the TV.
33) I miss a lot of people.
34) Feeelinngggsss and woooorrrrkkkk and stuuuffffff and I'm slowly going insaaaaaaaaaaaannnneeeee.
35) My ex said he didn't like my prom dress and I'm starting to think that not many people liked my prom dress and now I feel like a moron for having that prom dress and people are probably gonna yell at me for saying this.
36) I lost a little bit of weight. Still far from where I want to be, though.
37) My friends offered to play Cards Against Humanity tonight and I said no and I kinda feel bad but at the same time I didn't think they really wanted to hang out with me.
38) That's another thing: sometimes I think people hang out with me out of pity because a majority of my friends don't talk to me anymore.
39) Plus work's stressing me out and my family's stressing me out and school doesn't even start until August and it's stressing me out and my mom makes it feel like I'm a burden for moving back home and I've just been feeling like a burden to everyone lately....
40) Kinda crying now, let's think of some happy shit.
41) I'm (hopefully) going to Michigan with Beba, Squirt and my mom for a few days in July. We're taking Squirt to Bronner's. She's never been before and I'm really excited to go there again.
42) I really can't wait to sleep in tomorrow.
43) Still loving my new camera. Sometime this summer my friends and I are going to make our own version of the Friends theme.
44) I'M GOING TO THE COTTAGE NEXT WEEK SHOULD'VE SAID THIS EARLIER BUT YUP.
45) MY CAT JUST JUMPED ON THE COUCH AND DROPPED A BALL ON MACKY OMFG.
46) I still can't get into Doctor Who. Sorry, nerd world. I've let you down.
47) Colossalcon this year was fun but next year's gonna be better since we're gonna actually stay all fucking weekend.
48) J. Lynch pissed me off the other night 'cause he promised to pick me up from work and then backed out at the last minute 'cause him, Brandon and Nikki went to Applebee's and I had to walk home so Nikki told him to get me a Triple Chocolate Meltdown and he let me smack him in the face and it felt nice.
49) Three episodes in and I'm addicted to Orange is the New Black.
50) WHOOOOOOOAAAA WE'RE HALFWAY THEEEEERE
51) WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAH LIVIN ON A PRAYEERR
52) Netflix is the best investment I've ever made.
53) I think it's safe to say that I perfected "Let it Go" and "On My Own" in the shower.
54) Sometimes when I'm at work I take the fly swatter and smack my legs while I pace my register. I don't know why it feels good but it does.
55) I'm never on Twitter except to check in on celeb gossip.
56) I'm never really on Facebook that often anymore, either. I like to camp out on Tumblr. I don't feel depressed on Tumblr.
57) I'm hungry. Fuck.
58) I haven't been on Deviant ART in almost a year.
59) My friend's grad party was on Saturday and I was gonna give a card to KP so she could give it to her 'cause it would've been super awkward if I just showed up but I forgot and I feel bad so I'm just gonna save it until her mom drops off Avon for my mom...
60) I'm running out of things to write about.
61) SHOUT OUT TO GORGEOUS BECAUSE SHE'S GORGEOUS.
62) Is this annoying? 'Cause I'm starting to get annoyed by myself.
63) Is this the real life? Or is it fantasy?
64) Whenever I feel sad I have a Shaytards marathon on YouTube.
65) It needs to be next November so I can go to Disney World and be happy.
66) My cat likes to sit on the couch and look out the window like he's guarding his territory.
67) I've been having really realistic dreams lately and most of them involves me telling people I should be over about my problems and I think it's creepy and stalker-ish but my friends are like "IT'S BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM". GUYS. STAHP. IT'S CREEPY.
68) I'm still fighting to get my boobs chopped off.
69) OKAY IT'S 69 I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING GROSS. I haven't gotten my period in two months and the doctor said it was normal with the kind of birth control I'm taking but STILL I HATE LIVING A WEEK IN FEAR OF RUINING MY LINENS.
70) I just realized that I have a hard time letting things go and I wonder if that's a personality disorder or something. Or maybe it's just from my anxiety, I don't know. Whatever.
71) My back hurts.
72) Let's see if I can finish this on 26% battery.
73) I got my temps a few weeks ago. Clear the roads, y'all know the drill.
74) Shit, I gotta start saving up for a car.
75) How do you life 'cause I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.
76) I've been debating on whether or not I should go talk to a professional about my issues but so far all the professionals I've been to think I'm nuts. Well, except the counselor I talked to at school. She made me feel like my emotions mattered and it was really nice.
77) Also, please don't force me to elaborate this emotion shit to you 'cause I don't know how to explain it.
78) I unblocked Riko on Facebook and KP, J. Lynch and I have bets going on how long it'll take for him to notice or if he even notices at all.
79) JJ WORKS AT WILDWATER KINGDOM AND SHE ACTUALLY GETS REWARDED FOR DEALING WITH STUPID PEOPLE AND SHE'S GOT A FREE TICKET THAT SHE'S GONNA LET ME USE SO WE CAN GO ON A DAY WE'RE BOTH OFF AND IT'S SO EXCITING.
80) These are getting shorter and shorter as the list goes on and that is an obvious sign that I'm running out of ideas but I'm gonna fucking get this done 'cause I can sleep in until about 11 tomorrow, dammit.
81) I bought BB Cream at work to try it out since I got $5 off and now I regret every foundation and concealer I've ever bought.
82) I have, like, 56 new notifications on Tumblr and I just checked it ten minutes ago.
83) Maybe I should learn how to make my eyebrows look less gross.
84) The opening sequence to Orange is the New Black is kinda long. Kinda like the flashbacks at the beginning of Supernatural episodes.
85) ALMOST
86) DONE
87) UGH
88) I seriously wonder who else bothers to read this shit besides the obvious people that text me after I post it.
89) I had, like, 20 of the 100 pics that I was originally gonna use from this post picked out but then I moved all my pics to my external hard drive and got lazy.
90) Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it.
91) GUYS I FINISHED BREAKING BAD A WHILE AGO AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YOU TOTALLY SHOULD IT'S ONE OF THE BEST TV SHOWS I'VE EVER WATCHED.
92) The front door is still wide open and I wanna close it but it's bringing in a breeze so I guess I'm leaving it open until I go to bed.
93) THE END IS SO CLOSE I CAN TASTE IT.
94) Still hungry. Haven't left the couch. Oh well.
95) I should get a haircut soon. And my eyebrows desperately need to be waxed. I tried to pluck them but I chickened out.
96) 89 notifications on Tumblr.
97) I don't wanna go to work tomorrow. But I need money.
98) I'm just gonna bullshit the last two.
99) Thank you to everyone that bothers to read this. Like seriously. It really makes me feel good that this blog isn't going to waste.
100) When I say "I love you", I MEAN IT. And I love every single one of you.
Good night, and good luck.
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