College Hijinks I'll Tell My Future Offspring About (Part 2)

6. Rachelisms
Kids, your Aunt Rachel said the darnedest things while we were in college:

"MEOW, MOTHERFUCKER."

"You wanna go somewhere? You wanna go to Eric's? You wanna go to Coldstone? You wanna go up your butt?"

"I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP what I didn't say anything."

"Either she's possessed or she's masturbating."


7. Go the Fuck to Sleep

I'm not fucking with you guys. There's a legit bedtime story called Go the Fuck to Sleep. Kristi and I use it on each other all the time, and we're slowly starting to use it on our friends, too. I used it on my ex the orher night when him and another friend were having an irrelevant conversation on someone else's Facebook status. Jalapeno's hints to stop being assholes on that person's status didn't get through his thick skull....

8. Fangirling over The Avengers
There's no denying it. The Avengers is the biggest fangirl movie of 2012. I mean, come on, you got Robert Downey Jr., Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth in the same movie. It's ovary-exploding greatness. Plus it's just that good of a movie. I will definitely force show my kids this movie when they are old enough to handle it.