Day 13: Your fears.
Bees. I fucking hate bees with a burning passion. If a bee's in the room, I flip shit. I can't do bees.
Being replaced/abandoned by friends. I absolutely love all the friends I make, but nothing scares me more than being replaced by other friends or getting completely ditched by them. Believe it or not guys, but I do have a history of being ditched by friends. When we went to Kalahari for after prom, I thought the people I was with ditched me (turns out they were in the wrong slide line, which took longer), and I pretty much had a panic attack/mental breakdown, which "ruined" my ex's day because I "gave" him a migrane, but as my ex-boyfriend he knew about my issues and didn't care which made it worse....ugh. Thank God K.P. was there or I really would've gone off the deep end.
The future. The future both excites me and scares me. I'm excited to be on my own and make my own decisions (which I can do to a certain extent right now), but at the same time I'm nervous about it. But everyone is always worried about the future, so I guess this is a normal fear...
Starting a new relationship, and please don't bitch at me for this because it's fucking true. Don't get me wrong, I can't fucking wait to start over in a new relationship. But after someone I loved (note the past tense and be proud) told me about how I made his life a living hell, I'm scared that it'll be the same if I'm with someone else. I'm afraid to get too comfortable with someone, or else I'll start being a bitch (though many of my friends say I'm a "bitch out of love") like I was to him. It just scares me. A lot. Remember, when I say "I love you", I mean it, even if I'm being a bitch.
Fire. I have a love-hate relationship with fire. Over the years, I've noticed that all the fictional characters that I have been smitten with had something to do with fire (Axel from Kingom Heart's element is fire, Loki is the God of Fire on some portions of Norse mythology, a character I created back in the day had the ability to wield fire, etc). Yet on the other hand, my mother lights, like, a thousand candles in our house, and one time our dining room table almost caught fire because of it, so now when she lights a shitload of candles I get paranoid. When someone starts playing around with a lighter, I flip shit.
Driving. I've had a few close calls while riding in other people's cars, but what scares me the most is me not paying attention to the road if I ever start driving. I have really bad AD/HD, which means I have a horrible attention span, and if I fuck up while driving....ugh....it scares the shit out of me.
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